A Christmas newsletter from Foodie and the Beast

Seasons Greetings! This is a magical time of the year and we are so excited to send out the first-ever, and hopefully annual, Foodie and the Beast Christmas newsletter.

It seems sort of redundant to go through the big events of the year right now because you could just scroll through the blog and see pictures of our adventures in New Orleans and Greece, and read about how the Beast has entered early retirement. But here is a quick rundown of the little things–those small moments of pure blessedness that make life magic:

  • We were unable to get a cat due to the Foodie’s allergies and name it Georgia O’Keefe (female) or Vince Vaughn (male).
  • The Beast tried four different brands of volumizing dry shampoo and was still unable to pick a favourite.
  • Making falafel at home without a deep fryer just isn’t worth it.
  • We really got into frozen peas.
  • The Beast highly recommends turning a bag of Chicago Mix upside-down and shaking it before opening to evenly distribute cheddar and carmel popcorn. It’s to die for.
  • The Foodie highly recommends McCain’s crinkle cut French fries topped with St. Hubert’s poutine sauce if you’re home alone for dinner (don’t forget the Maldon salt and freshly ground pepper!)
  • Top Google searches. Him: “Is The Blindside a Christmas movie?” Her: “Do you have to clean button mushrooms and if so, how?”
  • Despite constantly consulting Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Complete Encyclopedia of Modern Body Building for his “weight lifting routine,” the Beast still doesn’t know the difference between his deltoids and his triceps.
  • The “me at the start of 2016 vs. me at the end” phenomenon went viral in our house:

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  • Sparkling rosé from Cremant officially became the new normal.
  • Over glasses of rosé from Cremant, we brainstormed titles for Barack Obama’s next book. For example: “Yes We Can, Only We Didn’t,” and “Go Fuck Yourselves: The Barack ‘Obama-Out’ Story.”
  • For the first time in her life, not only did she started a skincare regime that involves antioxidants in the morning and retinol at night, but she was also on the receiving end of misogynist tweets, making her (finally!) feel like a modern-day woman.

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  • He told her that she smells like canned salmon, winter, and retinol. She told him that he smells like Chicago mix laced with pee and sour baby.
  • He asked her what her favourite thing about him was. She said, “Your humour.” She asked him what his favourite thing about her was. “He said, “Your tits.”
  • The Beast has narrowed down his Christmas Eve outfit to either “a suit” or “something avant-garde I’m going to build around my suede pants.”
  • She’s literally plugging in a curling iron right now because he asked her to curl his hair for “tonite”.
  • We aren’t exchanging gifts this year. (We only purchased gifts for the Foodie’s four-year-old nephew, and our mothers.) We don’t want for a thing.
  • 6:00 p.m. reservations have been made at Barberian’s Steak House for New Year’s Eve. We should be home by 9:00 p.m., and asleep by 10.

That about covers it. What a year! Here’s wishing you and yours a very merry everything in 2017.

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3 responses to “A Christmas newsletter from Foodie and the Beast

  1. Hmmmmm. Sleeping before midnight New Year’s Eve. Love it.
    Happy Christmas.

  2. Here’s hoping your Christmas and New Year is everything you could wish for.

  3. Happy New Year to you both! I enjoy your blog posts very much. A special note to The Beast- if you haven’t tried Bumble and Bumble Prêt à Powder during your trials….I highly recco. Volume extraordinare and grease be gone. Blessing to you both for 2017

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