Monthly Archives: April 2015

How to diet by eating an entire pizza

The Beast and I got home at exactly the same time on Friday after work. He was carrying an LCBO bag filled with cocktail necessities and was eager to get down to business. I was eager to get into my caftan and drink whatever he was about to create.

Although there have been sunny days in 2015, something about Friday felt like it was the first of the season. We didn’t want to miss a moment of it. By 5:30 p.m., we were sitting on the deck with reading materials and drinks. The Beast was reading a 650-page biography about Saul Bellow for an upcoming book review he’s writing. I was reading Twitter.

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A couple of d-bags at D Bar

The Beast and I met up at the big Chapters at the corner of Bay and Bloor on Tuesday night. I found him in the politics section, gently turning over a tome on ISIS between his hands. “I have to go to the washroom,” I told him.

“Meet me in fiction afterwards,” he said. “I’ll be in the dick section.”

“Excuse me?”

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Piano man makes bean salads

Foodie: Last night I dreamt that I bought a condo.

Beast: Last night I dreamt I was a Ralph Lauren model.

Foodie: And it was really, really big. Like, it had two levels.

Beast: And I got paid in clothes.

Foodie: Did I tell you what I saw yesterday looking out into the backyard from the sunroom?

Beast: Not yet.

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