Foodie: What are we going to have for dinner, man? It’s Valentine’s Day!
Beast: You said we were going to have a taco salad party.
Foodie: I did?
Foodie: That’s actually a really good idea.
A taco salad party is not a euphemism for something sexy, although it could very well lead to titillation. A taco salad party is when you prepare your authentic ground beef with a package of authentic Old El Paso taco seasoning, get your toppings, including orange cheddar, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, green onion and mashed-up avocado, and take a box of authentic Old El Paso taco shells and heat them up. Then you fill two, maybe three, taco shells as you see fit. Eat these. Then you take the remaining taco shells and break them up on your plate and top with the remaining toppings. Presto: you have a taco salad party.
Taco salad parties can be healthy, fun and sexy because you never know where the taco salad party might take you: maybe a viewing of Sense and Sensibility (her) or Apocalypse Now (him) or Armageddon (both, LOL.)
I’m so excited about taco salad party tonight that I’m counting down the hours (five more to go.) I’m also using the time to think about some tips for achieving a healthy relationship in honour of Valentine’s Day. I think my tips are best amplified via text message exchanges (me: blue, him: photo):
Tip 1: Make jokes about dinner.
Tip 2: When one of you sees Fifty Shades of Grey, let your partner know when you’re on your way home so he can get the rice cooking for dinner. Also use hashtags.
Tip 3: Communicate about dinner ideas and give positive reinforcement when someone does a household-related chore:
Tip 4: If you eat the last banana, let your partner know.
Tip 5: Talk about your emotions.
Tip 6: Ask your partner what they think of potential clothing purchases before you make them.
Tip 7: Share the results of your Google image searches.
Tip 8: Share cooking and workout tips.
Tip 9: Talk about current events.