Beast: I think I’m going to start a Twitter account called @QuestionsForChanning.
Foodie: Channing Tatum?
Beast: Obviously. I’d ask him how to get a thicker neck.
Beast: I’d also ask him what kind of milk he drinks. Like, 2% or homo?
Foodie: May I ask you something?
The Beast and I were reunited late Friday night after being apart for two weeks. (I was half way around the world on a work assignment.) As I walked up our stairs, he grabbed my bottom, as couples are wont to do after being separated for so long, and felt something unusual.
Beast: What the hell is that?
Foodie: It’s a maxi pad.
Foodie: Can you believe that I got my period right before having to take three flights and crossing the International Date Line to come home?
Beast: Why didn’t you buy tampons?