Number of hours worked last week between three jobs: 86
Number of meals cooked last week: 0
Who cleaned the washroom on Sunday, including scrubbing the tub: the Beast
Who nearly cried with joy upon discovering this: the Foodie
Number of calories burned after running the Sporting Life 10K run on Sunday: 610
Number of calories consumed later that day after eating a dinner of cheese: 10,714
Number of episodes of Friday Night Lights watched during that dinner: 5
Number of times I cried: 7
Number of glasses of white wine I consumed: 4
Number of different cheeses I sampled: 5
Conversational Highlights during Friday Night Lights marathon:
Beast: Why are you painting your nails now? Why don’t you do them after you wash the dishes?
Foodie: I AM NOT WASHING THE FUCKING DISHES.
Beast: Coach’s wife has the best body ever.
Foodie (drunk): It’s kind of like mine in a way, except my legs aren’t that long and my hair isn’t that shiny and my breasts aren’t as big and my waist is wider. But if you ball-parked it, we’re kind of the same.
Beast: Did you ever funnel a beer in high school? Oh wait, you’re from St. Thomas, Ontario. Of course you funneled beers.
Foodie (drunk, and slurring words): Did I ever tell you how I used to be an athlete in high school? I used to shit talk you know. In basket-ball. I would shit talk like you never even heard before. “You gotta a left hand? Let’s see you use it then.” Shit like that, you know?
Beast: I do not even know what you are saying right now. I do not know who you are.
Foodie: One time I think somebody called me a Smurf or something on the court. (Pause) Our uniforms were yellow though.
I promise never to do a point form post again. Thanks for understanding though.