The Week That Was: A Round-Up

Number of hours worked last week between three jobs: 86

Number of meals cooked last week: 0

Who cleaned the washroom on Sunday, including scrubbing the tub: the Beast

Who nearly cried with joy upon discovering this: the Foodie

Number of calories burned after running the Sporting Life 10K run on Sunday: 610

Number of calories consumed later that day after eating a dinner of cheese: 10,714

Number of episodes of Friday Night Lights watched during that dinner: 5

Number of times I cried: 7

Number of glasses of white wine I consumed: 4

Number of different cheeses I sampled: 5

Conversational Highlights during Friday Night Lights marathon:

Beast: Why are you painting your nails now?  Why don’t you do them after you wash the dishes?

Foodie: I AM NOT WASHING THE FUCKING DISHES.

———————

Beast: Coach’s wife has the best body ever.

Foodie (drunk): It’s kind of like mine in a way, except my legs aren’t that long and my hair isn’t that shiny and my breasts aren’t as big and my waist is wider.  But if you ball-parked it, we’re kind of the same.

Beast: (silence)

———————

Beast: Did you ever funnel a beer in high school?  Oh wait, you’re from St. Thomas, Ontario.  Of course you funneled beers.

———————

Foodie (drunk, and slurring words): Did I ever tell you how I used to be an athlete in high school?  I used to shit talk you know. In basket-ball.  I would shit talk like you never even heard before.  “You gotta a left hand?  Let’s see you use it then.” Shit like that, you know?

Beast: I do not even know what you are saying right now.  I do not know who you are.

Foodie:  One time I think somebody called me a Smurf or something on the court. (Pause)  Our uniforms were yellow though.

———————

I promise never to do a point form post again.  Thanks for understanding though.

4 responses to “The Week That Was: A Round-Up

  1. I just dropped a bit of banana out of my mouth reading the “shit talk” part.

  2. Congrats on running the 10km and making your time goal!! You’re amazing!!

  3. I think we all know why I don’t use my left hand for…that.

  4. I love your blog. I am cringing thinking of my own drunk
    talk now 🙂

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