Medley Mealtime

(On the phone yesterday afternoon)

Beast: Are you going to be home for dinner tonight or what?

Foodie: I think so, if I can get my shit done. It might be late, like 9:30pm.

Beast: That’s perfect. I’ll be home by 9:00pm, and I’ll bring dinner.

Foodie: Pardon?

Beast: I’m going to bring home some homemade lasagna and eggplant parmigiana from the espresso place across the street from work.

Foodie: They started making food?

Beast: Yes, and don’t be a snob about it. It’s really good. They’re from Rome you know.

Foodie: I wasn’t being a snob about it! I’m sure it’s going to be great.

Beast: Can you pick up makings for a salad?

Foodie: Sure.

Beast: Caesar salad please. And can you pick up one of those frozen garlic breads with cheese on it?

Foodie: Okay.

Beast: Great. See you tonight.

We met just on time, shortly after 9:30pm, in the kitchen.

Foodie: I think this is going to be the first night we’ve had dinner together at home in about three weeks.

Beast: I KNOW–and I had to make it!

Foodie: I wouldn’t call you bringing home prepared foods making dinner. Anyway, it’ll be–wait: what pants are you wearing?

Beast: What, these? You bought them for me a few years ago, from H&M I think.

Foodie: Wow. That’s a seriously cool outfit. You’ve got my Dior belt on, and…are you wearing my ring?

Beast: Just as a joke, but I’m thinking I might start wearing rings. What do you think?

Foodie: Absolutely not. I won’t allow it. And I thought you were against cool pants?

Beast: Whoops–I did it again!

Foodie: Did what again? Be cool again?

Beast: Exactly. Would you please help me? I’m doing everything here! Can you at least open up the pre-packaged garlic bread?

Foodie: This is disgusting. It’s covered in oil! Feel it!

Beast: No way. Please don’t skimp on the bacon bits in the salad.

Foodie: Everything we’re having tonight comes from a package–the bacon bits, the croutons, the romaine lettuce, the lasagna and eggplant parmigiano, and even the fucking garlic bread. This is horrific.

Beast: This is amazing. This is a perfect dinner in my eyes.

Foodie: It really is, isn’t it? You love frozen lasanga.

Beast: This lasagna is not frozen! It’s really good!

Foodie: Fine. I just want half a piece of each please.

Beast: That’s all I was going to give you anyway. The other lasagna is for my lunch tomorrow.

Foodie: You’re being awfully sassy tonight.

Beast: Well you’ve left me home alone for A MONTH!!!! Give me the bottle of Zin that Aaron brought you and I’ll open it up. (Footnote: Aaron was a student at the school in Florence where I was a teaching assistant. He and his roommates were all extraordinary people with whom I still keep in touch. He stayed with us for two nights earlier this week–an experience which will provide the subject for the next post–and brought a bottle of zinfandel for me, remembering that I loved it many years ago.)

Foodie: I can’t watch you open up a bottle of wine wearing a ring.

Beast: Relax man! I bet you won’t tell your F&B readers that you used to love Zin.

Foodie: I can’t believe you just said F&B and Zin in the same sentence.

Beast: Zin is sogauche. Aren’t you embarrassed?

Foodie: That was, like, eight years ago! People’s palates for wine inevitably change over time. Oh God.

Beast: What?

Foodie: Eight years ago, I was still older than you are now.

Beast: And I’m old enough to know that zins are for fuck brains.

Foodie: I think there’s a time and a place for them.

With our plates loaded up, and our wine glasses filled with a lovely, not-over-the-top, zinfandel, we made our way into the living room. The Beast turned on the TV and tuned into a baseball game.

Foodie: This eggplant parmigiana is really, really good!

Beast: I told you you’d like it.

Foodie: Why is the stadium at this baseball game so full?!

Beast: It’s the World Series.

Foodie: Since when do you watch baseball?

Beast: I don’t. You can turn it, but TV is shit. At least watching baseball doesn’t make you feel bad about the human condition.

Foodie: Wow. Would you say that about all sports or just baseball?

Beast: Just baseball. Did you try the lasagna yet?

Foodie: I did. It’s good, but I like the eggplant parmigiana better.

Beast: Will you go get me the other lasagna?

Foodie: I thought you said that was for your lunch tomorrow.

Beast: You’re right.  I’ll take another glass of wine then.

I filled up our glasses and then we curled up on the couch. While the Beast watched the baseball game, I read a magazine.

It’s nice to be home.

Foodie: **

Beast: ***

 

 

 

6 responses to “Medley Mealtime

  1. someone who has just had major abdominal surgery should not be permitted to look at that outfit………..i almost busted open my scar – we are on a strict “don’t make patti laugh” rule around here.
    and by the way, zin is apparently making a comeback around here – so say the wine snobs.
    cheers!
    patti

  2. That is the exact same outfit Richard Gere wears in American Gigolo. Just Sayin.

  3. beast! there should be no white after labour day!

  4. I will be smiling for the rest of the day, thinking of you, Aaron and the Beast hanging out. Can’t wait for the next post!

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