Coupons and the Salad King

Boy oh boy did we have a good Saturday afternoon mapped out!  We had a two-for-one movie pass and a two-for-one quarter chicken dinner coupon for Swiss Chalet!

We had some time to kill before our movie matinee (Shutter Island) started so we went to Chapters.  The Beast headed straight to the books on Nazis section while I went to the magazine racks.  After I had my fill of gossip rags, he came to collect me for the show.

Foodie:  Perfect timing!  Only ten minutes until Shutter Island starts.  Oh no…

Beast:  What’s wrong?

Foodie: I can’t find the two-for-one movie coupon.  It must be in one of these stupid pockets.

Beast:  Are you sure you took it off the fridge?

Foodie:  I must have because I’ve still got the Swiss Chalet coupon here.  Where could it be?  Maybe it fell out when I took out my phone to answer Stephen’s call.

Beast:  Who’s she?

Foodie:  STEPHEN–it’s a boy.  You know Stephen from work–he’s also an F&B reader and a very nice commenter.  I was hoping you could have met him but you were looking for books on Nazis.

Beast:  Oh that Stephen!

Foodie:  He’s also seeing Shutter Island but he said it started at 3:00pm and I thought it started at 3:40pm so he kindly offered to call and let me know what the actual start time was and it turns out it’s playing at both times.  So I bet when I took my phone out of my pocket, the movie coupon fell out.  Let’s just go back to the magazines.  Maybe it’s on the floor.

It wasn’t on the floor.

Beast:  I can’t believe you lost the two-for-one coupon.

Foodie:  I’m sorry!  Do you still want to go?

Beast:  Do you?

Foodie:  Yes!  It’s pouring outside and we came all the way over here.  I think we should see it.

So we did.  And true to form, as of late, the Beast shushed somebody for talking during the movie.  It’s his new thing and it’s terrifying.  I mean, I just sit there and let strangers on cell phones and the talkers ruin my movie experience, like a normal, civilized person.  But not the Beast–oh no, he even gets up and tells people rows away to turn off their phones because they’re texting or something and the lights bother him.

Foodie:  That was great!  Just like an old-time Hollywood movie with all that fog and darkness and that overly dramatic music.  I loved it!  Did you like it?

Beast:  Yes….I….liked….it.

Foodie:  How could you not have liked that movie?  It was just pure entertainment!

Beast:  It was great, I just thought that near the end there it declined a bit.  I had figured out the twist after fifteen minutes too.

Foodie:   That’s impossible.  I didn’t know until five minutes before it ended.  You lie.

Beast:  I did!  You know the part when–

Foodie:  Shh!  You’ll ruin it for F & B readers!  I can’t believe you shushed someone again.  Didn’t you read in the paper how somebody got stabbed in the neck with a meat thermometer after shushing somebody during a movie ?  And do you know what the movie was?  It was Shutter fucking Island man!  We could have been killed!

Beast:  Where’s the closest Swiss Chalet around here?

Foodie: About that…I was thinking that maybe since we didn’t use the movie coupon that we shouldn’t use the dinner coupon just yet either.  And I really want to go to the Salad King! Wouldn’t that be delicious right now?

Beast:  Yes it would.

The Salad King is a Thai place, I think, that’s been providing Ryerson students with cheap and cheerful wholesome food for years now.  It was probably the first Thai food (North Americanized Thai food, but far superior than your average Thai joint, I think) that I ever had.  My ex-boyfriend’s twin sister introduced me to the place about 12 years ago I imagine.  I dare not tell the Beast this though because if I do, every visit to the Salad King thereafter, he’ll accuse me of taking a trip down ex-boyfriend memory lane.  It’s his favourite type of joking.  It’s very funny actually–probably not that healthy, but very funny.  You see this ex is now a successful shoe designer who works for Nike and Adidas before that.  Whenever we pass someone with these shoes on, which is like, everybody, the Beast likes to say, “Oh great!  There you go again, bringing up your successful ex-boyfriend!”  It gets him a laugh every time, like a fart does.

Beast:  This was a good idea!  Can you please order for the both of us?

Foodie:  Well, I’m going to get what I always get–the Golden curry.  I think I’ll get it with shrimp.  Why don’t you pick out your own main and then we’ll share spring rolls and a mango salad.

Beast:  Okay.  I’m going to have the golden curry too, but with tofu.

Foodie: Pardon?

Beast: With tofu I said.

Foodie:  No meat?

Beast:  Just the tofu.

The appetizers came out moments after I ordered them…

…and they were delicious.  The tomatoes, as you can see, in the mango salad weren’t anything to write home about but I just love that sweet and sour of the mango with the peanuts and fish sauce dressing.

Beast:  If there were unlimited spring rolls, I don’t think I could stop eating them.

Foodie:  Me too.  I think I could eat them forever, and never get full.

Our curries arrived in fancy bowls with the accompanying rice, attractively moulded, on a fancy plate.

Foodie:  This place has sure gussied itself up! It used to be a bit of a dive.  Mmmn. Smell that!  What do they put into this golden curry?  It’s so good!  How do we do this?  Do we spoon the curry onto the rice, or do it bite by bite?

Beast:  I don’t know! You’re supposed to know this stuff.

Foodie:  Take a peek and see what other people are doing.

I turned my head to do just that and when I looked at the Beast next he’d poured all his curry over his rice.  So I did the same.  We both finished our entire plates.

Foodie:  Look at that:  one, two, three, four–that’s ten shrimp!  Ten good shrimp, not those dinky frozen ones that you usually get in cheap Thai dishes.  How was your tofu?

Beast:  Just what I wanted.  Want to pick up dessert on the way home?

I certainly did, so after paying for dinner (under $30!) we stepped back out into the chilly wet night.

We took the subway home and then the bus, reading our Chapters purchases along the way, like an old married couple.  We exited in front of the Sobey’s around the corner from our place to look for dessert.

Beast:  By the way, you did your voice again when you ordered our dinner.

Foodie:   Oh shit!  Did I?  I don’t know what comes over me!

The voice is a problem:  whenever I order food in an Asian restaurant from an Asian server, I raise the pitch of my voice and say certain words differently.  Take, for instance, “thank you”: Instead of just saying, “thank you,” I say, “THAN-KKUU!!!” like I’m trying to mimic the way that they’ve just said it to me.  I’m never aware that I’m doing it.  It just happens.  But it doesn’t happen when I speak with other people with accents.  I don’t say, “Awroight then mate, cheers!” when I speak with British people.  It’s troubling to say the least.

Foodie: What kind of dessert do you want to get?

Beast:  Let’s make an instant cake!

Foodie:  Yes!

Beast:  Can we buy the icing too?

Foodie:  Of course we can buy the icing.  I’m not going to make it for crying out loud.  What kind of cake?

Beast:  I don’t care.  Vanilla?

Foodie:  Yes!  Can we get the cherry chip?

Beast:  Sure.  I don’t see it though.  Let’s get this rainbow chip one.  It’s probably the same thing.

Foodie:  Okay.  You know what?  I’d choose white cake with white icing any day over chocolate cake.

Beast:  Racist.

Foodie:  What do you mean?

Beast:  The way your voice changes when you order Asian food, and you only eat white cake.  You know your voice changes when you talk to the cute Asian girl at our corner green grocer too.

Foodie:  It does?  She must think I’m so rude!

Beast:  No, I bet she just thinks, “why the fuck is this round eye talking so funny?”

The cake was ready in know no time.  We decorated it together.  (The rhubarb jam sandwiched between the two layers was the Beast’s idea.)

Sometimes nothing’s better than cake from a box and instant icing.  I highly recommend it for breakfast too.

Foodie:  ***

Beast:  ***

14 responses to “Coupons and the Salad King

  1. Jessie, were you at the Medieval Times / Swiss Chalet party we had at Gio’s that time? Nick and Duncan had a jousting match with box horses. Incredible scenes.

    • No Paul, I wasn’t there. I don’t think I was invited. I guess I’m not fun enough to Medieval Times parties. And, as you know, I hate costumes so I would have been a real stick-in-the-mud.

  2. Oh, you make me hungry….

  3. You are so, so funny! Beast sounds very much like my ‘Almost Husband’ – what, with the Nazis and the rainbow chip cake from a box and telling me how a movie’s going to end before it does, except I am the shusher at movie theatres.
    And whenever he tries to do an accent, it sounds like an Irish pirate.
    I love the way you write!

  4. ZOMG!!! This is like a dream come true! To have been mentioned in a FATB post is like…I don’t know, like being in the background of a snapshot of Edie Sedgwick dancing with Andy at the Factory, or being the waiter at the Last Supper or…it is just amazing. This is the apotheosis of my relationship with bloggers and the internet and computers and technology and…pretty well all I could hope for. This is it. Stick a fork in it, it’s done! I mean, I wish it had been a post about ortolans or cassoulet or something, rather than one on movie coupons and student restaurants, but I am not complaining. I think I am going to get a t-shirt made with this entire FATB post on it, (maybe with my name highlighted) and wear it around until someone fetching asks about it. Ya, that’s what I am gonna do. Anyway, I am rambling. I am just really excited, I am in some pain from a fractured shoulder, it is all a lot to process right now.

    It’s just an honour to be mentioned. I would like to thank the Academy…

    p.s. Why does the Beast think I am a woman? I am all man. Invite him to work so he can hear my stentorian bellowing at my co-workers. It’s like a g-d rutting stag.

  5. I just noticed for the first time (in Stephen’s comment–you’re right btw Foodie that he’s really good at it–much to aspire to) what your blog’s acronym does. I’m not sure what it means but I like the sound of Fat B.

  6. foodie you were in nova scotia during medieval times dinner

  7. Jessie !
    you should take me to this Thai restaurant please and “THANKKUU”

    because I enjoy Thai food a lot.
    also, white cake is better than chocolate especially if it’s rainbow chip.

    • We will most certainly go to eat here Rebecca! And do you know what’s around the corner from this place? EATON CENTRE.

  8. I want to know who the feck brings a meat thermometer to a movie theatre. Maybe the stabbing wasn’t about the shushing – perhaps the assailant just wanted to see if the victim was medium-rare yet.

  9. I have been reading through your archives instead of working on my dissertation. Stop being so awesome! (JK, please don’t.)

    • Step away from The Archives! (And what is your dissertation on?)

      • sarainamerica

        Let me tell you, your blog is way more interesting than some of the stuff I have to read right now. My dissertation is on the Iranian New Wave (1960s and 70s, until the 79 revolution).

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