After work, looking at the movie listings…
Beast: You know what? Let’s go see Remember Me this weekend.
Foodie: Really?! I wanted to ask you to see that but I just assumed you wouldn’t want to go! It’s gotten good reviews you know.
Beast: Yeah, I think I read that Tiger Beat gave it four stars.
Foodie: Oh I see. You were joking.
Foodie: It’s breakfast for dinner tonight. Are you excited?
Beast: Did you pick up breakfast sausages like you promised you would?
Beast: Then I’m very excited. Cook the entire package.
Beast: Trust me on this one.
So I got out the mix I bought after my recent homemade pancake catastrophe. All you have to do is add water to this one:
And I started to fry up some bacon.
And then I had a novel idea: what if I cooked the breakfast sausages in the oven, instead of in a frying pan? There would be so many advantages with this method: first, baking sausages is healthier than frying them, I think. And second, if I put foil on top of the baking sheet, there’s one less dish to wash! I might have left them in a bit too long but I like a crispy breakfast sausage better than a sickly little pale one.
Foodie: We’ve got maple syrup and that homemade rhubarb jam that I whipped up last weekend. Is that good enough for you?
Foodie: Where are you going? Just stay here because dinner is done.
Beast: (Running back into the living room) I’ll be right back!
And then I heard the Beast starting to play the piano! And not just for a few seconds, but for minutes! Plus, he wasn’t even really playing the piano–he took off some section so the strings were exposed and he was dinking around with those–using different objects, like pens and pencils, to hit the strings while he played the keys. I just stood in the kitchen and kept yelling “dinner!” over and over again. I was so furious that I got my plate all ready without him.
Beast: (finally coming into the kitchen): Oh this looks so good! What’s wrong?
Foodie: (walks away without talking.)
Beast: Hey wait a second! Wait for me!
Foodie: NO! I’m eating without you! I was calling your name and you kept ignoring me because you were in your little musical world where you just keep playing an instrument and your eyes glaze over when I’m trying to talk to you! I hate it!
Beast: You only called once and here I am!
Beast: Okay, maybe more than once. I’m sorry! I’m really sorry. But did you hear what I created? Can you believe that I made all those sounds by using only one instrument?
Beast: (Holding out his plate, which is spilling over with pork products.) Don’t you want to take a picture of this?
Foodie: No. Let’s just go eat.
Beast: Listen, I know it’s not easy living with somebody as creative as I am.
Foodie: Holy shit, can we just go eat already?
So we did. And the Beast ate 12 breakfast sausages.
Categories: At Home