A mangiacake is a non-Italian person. It translates to cake-eater. Italians eat cake too, but not like our cake. Our cake is delicious, especially vanilla cake with butter-cream icing. Italian cake is usually really dry, not very sweet, flat, and has Nutella in it. Italians have done some great things in the past, like that David statue and The Godfather, but making cake is not one of them.
Mangaicake lasagna is very different from lasagne bolognese. (Italians are so passionate about their culinary history that they codify recipes. I’m told that such a codification exists for lasagne bolognese.) My mom makes mangiacake lasagna. You’ve probably made it too. I made it Sunday night. The trick is to throw everything you think you know about Italian food out the window and let your anglo- instincts take over. My secret anglo ingredient? Canned mushrooms. My mom always uses canned mushrooms and I was missing her on Sunday, so I bought two cans and threw them into my meat sauce. I didn’t tell the Beast about them. I just let him eat.
Beast: Are these canned mushrooms in here?
Beast. Mmmn. They’re delicious.
Foodie: (sighing) I’m glad you like it.
Beast: What’s wrong?
Foodie: (more sighing) Oh nothing. I guess it just feels like I’ve lost all my funny bones.
Beast: Oh boy. Is this about The Black Hoof? (See post below)
Foodie: (sighing still) Oh, I dunno.
Beast: I do think you’re funny you know.
Foodie: So you’ve said.
Beast: What can I do to make it up to you?
Foodie: You can bring out the cupcakes you brought home to surprise me with.
Beast: But I didn’t buy any cupcakes to surprise you with.
Foodie: (sighing) Oh.
Beast: What about if I go buy you one of those McCain’s Deep & Delicious frozen marble cakes and we split the whole thing?
Foodie: And will you go get the load of laundry that’s been sitting in the dryer for three days?
Beast: (pause) Yes.
And just like that, the Beast and I made peace.