The Beast and I visited with my mom in London, Ontario last weekend. We had Harvey’s for lunch when we arrived and Chinese takeaway for dinner. When my mom gave her address for delivery, the lady at the restaurant exclaimed, “Oh, you the Royal Doulton lady!”
“Why yes I am,” replied my mother. “The girls,” as my mother colloquially refers to these porcelain figurines, are displayed on every available surface in her home, including the kitchen cupboards and even her sock drawers. She knows her collecting has gotten out of hand, and apparently, so does the Chinese food delivery boy. But they make her happy.
You know what makes me happy? Being regular, and I don’t mean in an after-school special kind of way where the weird kid just wants to be like everybody else. I’m talking about regularity “down there”. I love pooping. A recipe for whole-wheat blueberry muffins from Gordon Ramsay’s new cookbook, “Healthy Appetite,” is making sure that I’m happy every morning—even again in the afternoon, on occasion. And the Beast likes them to boot. I made them Sunday night when we got back from visiting my mom and the painted girls, with the hopes that they’d flush our systems of all the glorious junk food we’d eaten.
Maybe I should start including recipes. Is that legal though? Because it’s Gordon’s recipe, not mine. Actually, I did make some modifications, so I think technically, that makes the recipe mine, no?
2 cups whole-wheat flour
1cup brown sugar
1 ½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
2 very ripe bananas
1/3 cup melted butter
a lot of blueberries
½ cup walnuts
½ tsp all spice, or ground cloves, or cinnamon
or all of that stuff
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
Just mix this all up the way your instincts tell you to, and bake them at 350 for about 25 minutes.
The Beast also requested a quiche Sunday night, which I thought was sort of funny. So a quiche I did make. It was sort of a torta rustica actually, which is an Italian version of quiche, but less “eggy”. It’s really just a delicious savoury pie. For the filling I mixed up 4 eggs, some ricotta cheese, grated Parmigiano Reggiano, a little mozzarella, some really very crumbly aged Beamster, and a whole whack of fresh Italian parsley and chives. I don’t want to talk about the crust (store-bought) please and thank you. This pie, along with a simple green salad, turned out to be quite a lovely Sunday night dinner. I was going to finish this by writing something about how the blueberry muffins have done their trick all week but the Beast says I shouldn’t write about shit in a food blog.