Foodie: What are we going to have for dinner, man? It’s Valentine’s Day!
Beast: You said we were going to have a taco salad party.
Foodie: I did?
Foodie: That’s actually a really good idea.
This morning, in the kitchen:
Beast: We need to get rid of our sugar bowl.
Foodie: No we don’t.
Beast: Yes we do. And that little plate it sits on too.
Foodie: No we don’t. I love them both so much.
Beast: They look like they belong in a fucking dump: like they belong to a character in a Miranda July novel.
Foodie: Do you want to see the photos I took of you asleep last night on the couch?
Beast: I look like a character from a Wachowski brothers’ movie.
Outside of Harvey’s on the Queensway, a favourite resort-like destination for us when we have access to a car, the Beast turned to me and said, “Doesn’t this feel like the kind of slightly rundown place where a business man would come into after a long day at work to order a burger? And in the movie version, he’d be at the wrong place at the wrong time and there’d be some kind of armed robbery?”
This year I tried to curate the holidays before they even happened. I discovered this can lead to moments of both disappointment and happy surprises.
The Beast has really been pulling his own when it comes to week-night dinners. He made a great Bolognese last week. This week, it was paella, or rather his interpretation of it. He started with a Paula Deen recipe for “Mexican Rice” and then added peas, sausage and shrimp. If that doesn’t all add up to paella then I’m my name isn’t Paula Deen.
Add to this authenticity watching The Graduate, and it practically felt like we were in some tiny Valencian town eating our meal. The Beast had been eager to re-watch the film ever since Mike Nichols passed away. It was a night to remember.
Beast: I think I’m going to start a Twitter account called @QuestionsForChanning.
Foodie: Channing Tatum?
Beast: Obviously. I’d ask him how to get a thicker neck.
Beast: I’d also ask him what kind of milk he drinks. Like, 2% or homo?
Foodie: May I ask you something?