Sometimes you just need a summer sausage sammy

The other day after work,  I had no idea what to make for dinner. Neither did the Beast. So we agreed to meet up at the end of our street to brainstorm and grocery shop. When I saw the Beast get off the streetcar, he had two filled-to-the-brim Value Village bags.

Foodie: Oh good! You really needed some more clothes!

Beast: You’ll feel bad for mocking me when you see what I got.

Foodie: Go on.

Beast: Well, let’s just say, Club Monaco, J Crew–

Foodie: BORING!

Beast: Wait for it: Hugo Boss, and the ultimate–remember how I bought myself a plaid tweed jacket last week? Actually, it’s the one that I’m wearing now. Well, I found another one, but this one is Burberry’s signature tweed! And it was only $14.99!

Foodie: That’s incredible. Truly. I am so happy for you. Now you can get rid of the one you’re wearing because who really needs two tweed jackets?

Beast: Do you know what else I got?

Foodie: Don’t tell me it’s another pair of loafers. You DO NOT need more penny loafers or tassel loafers or just loafers in general.

Beast: No, I got burgundy oxfords!

Foodie: [Silence]

Beast: For our photo shoots? So we can wear the same shoes!

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Foodie: That’s really great. But what the f–k are we having for dinner? OMG. Wait. How about we use up that summer sausage I bought last week and we just make sammies? I’ll grab a tomato, an onion, some arugola and boom! And we can get chips for a side dish!

Beast: That sounds to die for!

We got home with some fresh kaiser buns and our sammy fixings and sat outside, where the Beast showed me his Value Village finds.

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Beast: See, these shirts, the Club Monaco one and the J Crew one, are perfect for high concept work wear.

Foodie: Excuse me?

Beast: HIGH CONCEPT WORK WEAR.

We moved indoors because the Beast wanted to try on his Hugo Boss pants.

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Foodie: Oh great. More dad pants.

Beast: I know it’s shocking to see a man wearing pants that sit on his actual waist.

Foodie: I’m joking, mostly. They do look like a pair of pants that Gene Kelly might wear.

Beast: I think I was born in the wrong time.

Foodie: [Fighting for a position in front of the mirror]: Hey, can I get a look in the mirror or what!??

Beast: I’m sorry I’m just obsessed over how good these pants are.

Foodie: Do you think it’s weird that when you get home you stay dressed up and when I get home I put on an old-timey nightie with a sweatshirt on top?

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Beast: We just have different concepts of comfort. Let’s go eat.

We went down to the kitchen and prepared our sides and opened up the chips: Plain Lay’s for me and BBQ Lay’s for the Beast.

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We dressed up our kaisers with summer sausage, old cheddar, slices of tomato and onion, plus some Dijon mustard, corn relish and a pile of arugola on top. (I added slices of the Beast’s mom’s famous pickles, too–as I do to every sandwich.)

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God, sandwiches are good. I wish I remembered to make them more often for dinner.

I’m on my own tonight. I have some left-over gnocchi casserole that I froze a couple of weeks ago. I don’t even know if you should do that–freeze already baked gnocchi. I have no idea how this will taste. The Beast went to the horse track with his dad.

This is what they wore:

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I can’t be certain, but that looks like it could be a woman’s vest overtop of a Canadian tuxedo.

[Silence]

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One response to “Sometimes you just need a summer sausage sammy

  1. You guys are so damn cute!

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