Upstairs, in the bedroom, after work:
Beast: You know what I was thinking about today?
Foodie: What’s that?
Beast: How we’ll never have gender equality as long as it’s impossible for men to feel comfortable wearing long, chunky sweaters synched at the waist by a nice belt.
A recent work assignment landed me on board the Disney Fantasy for a seven-day cruise. Here is the text exchange that the Beast and I shared while I was away. (This conversation has been edited for clarity, length and so I don’t get fired.)
Beast: Scorsese biopic on the Dali Lama is on Youtube. I am going to watch it tonight. Miss you so much already.
Beast: Have you decided if you’re getting cornrows on the cruise yet? I think it’s something you should decide before you step onboard.
Beast: Can you believe that “how do I become the physical embodiment of jazz” was the #1 Google search from our IP address in 2015!?! Astounding.
“Promise me one thing,” I asked the Beast as we drove along the Trans-Canada highway from Calgary to Banff National Park, “You won’t make any of your adorable–but loud-and-distracting–little coos if you see wildlife.”
“Let me practise: There is a grizzly to your left,” he said in a subdued tone.
“That’s pretty good. I know it’s hard for you to hide your enthusiasm for Nature, but there’s black ice everywhere and I need to concentrate.”
There’s a scene at the end of A Christmas Story–and stop reading now if you’ve never seen the film that plays on TV 24 hours a day leading up to December 25 because there will be spoilers–where the family’s Yuletide feast is ruined. Not to be defeated, the dad gathers everyone up and they head out to a Chinese restaurant, Chop Suey Palace, where they’re introduced to Peking duck. Unaccustomed to seeing their dinner “smile at them,” the restaurateur unceremoniously chops off the crispy bird’s head. Et voilà, dinner is served!
Our three-day Miami and Florida Keys mini break started off on the right foot at the Miami airport Enterprise (they have an excellent corporate structure) car rental spot. As we waited for a standard car, say, a Jetta or a Corolla, to be shuttled over, a white Jeep Patriot came rolling through first.
“How do you feel about taking this Jeep instead?” our agent asked us.
“Uh, fuck yes,” we said in unison–in our heads.
“We’ve always wanted to drive a Jeep,” I said–out loud, “Thank you so much! What’s your name?”
“My name is Love,” said Love, pointing to his name tag that said “Love.”
Posted in Miami and the Keys, Morada Bay Cafe, Mrs. Mac's Kitchen, Quality Meats
Tagged Captain Tony's, Islamorada, Key West, Kyle Chandler, Miami Beach, Mrs. Mac's, Pines and Palms resort, Quality Meat, The Gardens Hotel, the Palms
The Beast and I realized that his dad has probably seen Nick Edwards more than we have this year, which hardly seems fair.
We enjoyed both their company at the Beast’s dad’s pop-up art reception. A few of Nick’s illustrations are included in the show; specifically, illustrations from Bumble Bear, a children’s story that the Beast wrote years ago.
Posted in At Home
Tagged A&W, David Gadke, historic hotels, Key West, Nick Edwards, Pines and Palms resort, South Beach, Steve Jobs, teen burgers, The Angler's Hotel, The Gardens Hotel, Versace mansion
About a year ago, maybe longer, the Beast decided to turn a left-over ham bone into a soup. He found the recipe on his own. It called for both split peas and brown lentils–I’m guessing less than a cup of each.
But he brought home two-kilogram bags of each. That’s four kilograms of dried legumes.